Kappa's Guide to Natural Highs (Villian Version 1.1)

I recently visited my friend's blog and saw this article entitled 'Natural Highs'. It is supposed to "lift your spirits". That, was a goody-goody version. Now, I will impart to you, the Sith's version to Natural Highs. May the force be with you.

1. Sitting in your school canteen with your good friends and makingsnide remarks at everyone. ("Look at that bald donkey!" "That teacher looks like a bulldog, shouldn't he be at the pound?")
   
2. Bullying inexperienced relief teachers. ("Where's the chalk?" "Oh, you are sitting on it, 'cher!")
3. Playing the violin (especially when you aren't too good at it yet)when your mum is taking her afternoon nap.
4. Playing the piano when your family is watching television.Watching "American's
5. Funniest Home Videos" (Moral of the story: Laugh when tragedy befalls others)
6. Watching reruns of old local series, e.g. Triple Nine. (Oh god! LiLin in high waist jeans! She looks like a poulet when she put on too-red lipstick! Oh, and that crappy hairstyle! (laughs hysterically))
7. Imagine the guy or girl you have a crush on walking about naked. (It will be good if he or she had a great body, if not...erm...you will just have to imagine it.)
8. Mixing your father's hair tonic into your mother's shampoo. (The result's pretty interesting!)
9. Accidentally-on-purpose sending your friend spoilers for Harry Potter. (Oh, I'm sooo sorry! I sent it to you by mistake! It was meant for another person!)
10. Hearing Leong read Chinese, or speak Chinese; it's hilariously funny. (Ask her to tell you the sunflower incident)
11. Watching a guy's expression when you tell him his zippers are undone. (Even if they are not...undone, I mean)
12. Whipping up some weird-looking food and ask your sister to try them. (younger sister or brother, preferably)
13. Looking at old photographs of your form teacher (Look here! Here's when Mr X still had his hair!)
14. Sticking a picture of your school rival on a dart board. (10 points if you hit the body, 20 if you hit the face and 100 if you can hit the groin!)
15. Confusing your friends. (Kappa, so which one is it? You are confusing me!)
16. Hearing Leong shrieking* at you, waving her fists in the air ("You villainous villain!"..."This is utter villainy!)
17. Hearing or smelling somebody fart in public.
18. Looking at a guy digging his ears, then smelling his earwax and then telling your friends about it. Enjoy the gross expression on their faces.
19. Consoling your rival in school when she/he failed the exams.("Poor thing, never mind, you can do better next time!" Think: If there even is a next time.) Then mocking her/him behind his/her back.
20. Clipping a clothes-peg onto the nose of a person sleeping.
21. Drinking coffee. (My friend always gets high after drinking coffee, she would giggle and shriek, laugh and yell. That, in essence, is that she has lost control.
22. Seeing your rival lost her place as queen of the high-and-mighty in school.
23. Watching man-hunt on television.
24. Watching Jim Carrey's "Lawyer, Lawyer".
25. Last but not least, writing obscenities on somebody's cast.(One, look at the poor person hobble about on the cast, or trying to feed himself, and two, the obscenities.)
    

That's all folks! If you have any suggestions on this article, please feel free to flood Leong's tag board. Ciao.This Guide is in near pristine condition. I hardly made any changes. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.*I do NOT shriek.