Cynics. The modern world and the impossibility of goodwill

I'm pissed off. If this sounds like an impartial post then YES. I don't think I'll like to sound civil anymore. Somebody once told me that the world has become increasingly cynical, that it is hard to find someone who can still believe in the good in people, that all anyone sees nowadays are the flaws first of all, and most of all. It's almost as if prejudice has become a daily thing. We mistrust so easily. Far harder it is to gain another's trust. Locked doors behind smiles. If people say that few good men exist in the world today, then it is because this world is such that we do not care to see the goodness in people. It's a rat race man. Who damn cares about others?? Self comes first. Some say looking through rose coloured glasses is escapism. Are we then to lock oursleves in a mundane world then? We all need an outlet. Others rush headlong but I like to take it slow. However that isn't going to happen (Slowing down I mean). Not now anyway.

After two years at NY. I wonder what you all think. I feel like I haven't changed, and yet at the same time, I think that my life has altered beyond recognition too. More scared and less scared. I'm not that girl from Sec 4 now am I? That comfortable place where I knew my place and was happy in it.

I wonder if it is so hard to see the good in others. Or try probing beyond the surface. Then again, who am I indeed to say this when my principles are less than sound? It's not like I've tried to know others. I'm not very forthcoming. I too am a prejudiced person. I stick to my opinions and don't change them easily. Or maybe I don't and that's my problem. Am I too agreeable or something?

Just this morning, I argued with my sis. I suppose it's nothing to her since she tried to placate me with the pet hamsters less than 10 mins after shouting at me. Does she think I'm not angry? Am I forgiving because I don't destroy possesions the way certain family do when angry? Or the fact that I don't retaliate when hit? I hate fighting. I hate aimless quibbling. I just want to curl up with a good book and is that so wrong? I'm sorry. I don't think I've forgotten all the nasty things she said or things she accused me off, like waking up at 7 to read.

I woke up to buy breakfast. Because my mother wakes early. So i need to get breakfast early right. Wrong. I get accused of being addicted. Look at yourself please. Who spent her finals with her XBox? I see that happening for the O's too. Of course, all my mother did when we are both shouting at each other is to remind my sis that she hasn't washed the hamster cage yet. I can't think of a worse time to remind angry children about their most hated chores. Yup. Go on. Add fuel to the fire. Go on. But I don't need to egg ppl on. They do it themselves oh so voluntarily. Parents never did understand their children. Neither then do siblings.

But I can only hope that there are people out there who are not cynics. They must be considered a rare species. Almost extinct. Endangered. Let's hope they multiply soon.